I'm not dating for a year. I decided on October 7th, that it was time for me to take a break from the dating world and really focus on my relationship with Jesus. While in middle school I decided to wait until I was married to kiss any one (that went out the window) and I just feel like a lot of myself got lost when I poured my heart and soul into every relationship I've been in.
It's hard though. I find my brain still fantasizing about how wonderful my wedding will be, and how great it would be to have a hubby... I think about what could have been, or what will hopefully be. I am so eager to cling to something or someone that will make me feel safe and loved and wanted. I desire to serve and love a man.
But... this is why I want to put it all on Jesus. He is my lover and I am his beloved. No one can live up to his standards; no one will ever love me like He does. I want to serve and love and respect and fear my Lord.
That being said. I could use prayer, that I stay committed to my covenant with God to not date for a year. Beth used the illustration of a rope as our promise.... sometimes we fail, but we tie that knot and recommit ourselves. I pray that if I ever do "forget" about my promise I will have the strength to recommit and follow in my devotion.
crazy huh?..
Shannon, I am so proud of you - I know this time is really difficult, and it's so hard to learn what it means to have Jesus be the lover of our souls. No doubt it's a lifelong journey! But know that those who love you most are praying for you, and that The One who loves you more than anyone will not let you down. He has a difficult and crazy and wonderful plan for your life. :)
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